I was going to start this off by saying how my favorite roads/avenues are winding ones- but that’s not necessarily truly. I love those quiet avenues that are tree-lined so when you look up in the Autumn months you feel you are underneath a canopy of scarlet and tangerine and fresh green or in the Spring you see all the pink and red and white blossoms. I love roads with big, unique houses with climbing roses. They don’t have to be winding roads though – so there goes my idea to tie in my love of winding roads into how life is.
I try to always evolve, always learn. Sometimes we learn amazing things that leave us bright-eyed and our hearts full. Sometimes we learn things about ourselves, the dark parts that we maybe we hide away but are there. The sad parts. We have them no matter if we deny them or not. I’ve learned things recently, some I’ve already known but they seem to be in bold font for me now. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you can’t.
1) I have no patience for movies. I have a hard time watching movies unless it’s a movie that’s tried and true (Dirty Dancing, Almost Famous, etc). I’d rather be listening to music or dancing around the kitchen or writing or walking. Or anything but devoting my time to something I don’t care about. But when I do fall in love with a movie or tv series I want to know everything. I will Wikipedia and google it. I’ll learn the most I can. But it comes so rare. I’ve always been that way but somehow that impatience has gotten worse and I’m okay with it.
2) I truly believe if you love me you know my favorite song (and I would know yours). I ask everyone I care about (whether it’s a friendship or relationship:)What is your favorite song? Most people say they don’t just have one. But the first song they come up with, I remember that. If you know someone’s favorite song you know a piece of them. You don’t have to like that song but you know something that makes me sway and gives them a glint in their eyes.
3) As I get older, I’ve been obsessed with having a “life plan”. I know the things I want to be and do, but there are certain aspects I’m still unclear on. It makes me panic. I also know that unsolicited advice never, ever helps. It just doesn’t. Maybe this is my part of the path where things feel alive and beautiful but still misty around certain bends of the road. I’m hoping that’ll all clear one day. I have faith. Still working on the patience part (see #1)
4. Girls stop doing that thing where you see a pretty girl in a short dress thinking “Bitch”. Because in my head sometimes as much as I try have that inclining to want to be a hater and I hate it. It doesn’t help me. It doesn’t help her. It doesn’t help anyone. It’s so ingrained in us and I will devote more time to undoing all of the bullshit society tells us. That goes for all women- big, small, short dress maxi dress, whatever. It’s not good and holds us back. I remind myself of this often. It takes time.
Other than that, I learned to live in the moment. I overthink and it only causes problems. If you love someone, tell them even if it’s awkward. If you feel you need to leave then leave. Answers don’t just fall in your lap but over time you get a better sense of who you are and the direction you want to go in life. Fuck anyone who doesn’t understand. It’s your life. That’s all recycled nonsense we see everywhere but it’s true.
If you read all this thank you. I felt inspired today to write about the things I’m learning. It’s a process.