Wednesday, July 15, 2015

For you, Carissa

I was teetering on the edge of not saying anything at all or rummaging through my mind over the years and think about the good memories I had with Carissa and write something.
There are certain people that come in our life, that have certain situations where we have to exercise "tough love" and distance ourselves from that person. I never wanted to. But I felt for a myriad of reasons - that I had to.
What I remember fondly: are those sober, happy memories. When we danced like fairies on the town green when we were in high school, our silly inside jokes and livejournals. She was so beautiful and punk in that glittery, well thought out way. I use to be so jealous of how beautiful she was. I really was. Time goes on and people change and it was almost 10 years when we ended up being friends again. We bided our time with listening to music or doing those ridiculous Mob Wives sketches. She was sober and doing so well, I felt like she could have it all. I could see the dark clouds coming but I hoped my friends and I could help bring the light. I thought light always won over darkness.
I'm sorry I had to let you go years ago. I wish I was stronger and more equipped to deal with what you were going through. I hope you find the peace that eluded you. I will remember you as a sweet, artistic, extremely funny girl. RIP Carissa.

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