I have been pretty down lately. I have always had depression and anxiety and my slumps in the past have been pretty dark. My depression will have me crying or on the verge of tears and my anxiety will take any confidence I have and strips it away from me. So many nights I've tossed and turned, crying or not crying, being anxious of the world outside my window. Whether it was thinking about how everyone hates me, rumors, financial problems - once the wheels in my head start turning it almost seems impossible to even slow them down, let alone stop them. Medication has really saved me, so has growing up. I've gotten to the point where I have gotten so tired of feeling a certain way I've learned to adapt in my own way. I haven't been in a really cloud, dark place in years but there are so many things I need to work on and I wanted to share them because maybe, just maybe there are things you can relate to also. Maybe there are things that were problems that you conquered. These are things, I feel in my life, I need to maintain a happy life.
Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
To me living a life of happiness means you have your shit together - you have balance. A simple life to me isn't worrying about holding on to toxic, drama-inducing friendships or relationships just to have connections in your life. A simple life to me doesn't mean going out every night or even every weekend. It means being at peace with yourself and a book, or a field of wildflowers. It means letting go of the drama for quiet. I try and always speak well of people, and if I can't I try and not to say anything. It's hard when someone has done you wrong, but having all that anger, negativity, drama around you only clouds and clutters your life with unnecessary and bad energy. Get Rid of the Clutter. Drama, Toxic Relationships. Also actual physical clutter! I've read so many things that say having a clean room relaxes your mind. I know when my car or bedroom gets messy I feel uneasy. Taking the time to de-clutter, throw away the things I don't need and keep it simple are so worth it!
There is life outside your Phone/Social Media
This is harder than I even thought. I can't tell you how many times friends have jokingly (?) told me to get off my phone. Whether it was texting other people to see what they were doing after the party, or checking my facebook, or going places with the express purpose of taking pictures to put on Instagram - I realized I need to put my phone down. I need to live my life. I didn't get a cellphone until I was in college and now I am jokingly called the Social Media Butterfly. But no! That's not what I want. I have found myself checking facebook to pass the time, and in years past I have overshared - only to find out, less is more. Especially when it comes to social media. I don't know if I'll ever deactivate all of them but having a healthy balance is so important. Not everything needs to be for public consumption. I'm trying to focus on my writing and photography and using my blog and instagram and less of things like facebook where you can get sucked into other people's lives.
Save Money/Anything Worth Having is Worth Working Hard For
So many nights I've lied awake wondering how I was going to get bills paid or rent on time. Financial stress is like no other to me, and if you're like me, no one else can relieve that stress but you. I am not good at saving, but putting money aside is so important! I have vowed to start doing that.
Also, wanting and maintaining my own place requires more money than I have and I have been dragging my feet on getting a second job. I've had second jobs throughout my life and it never hurt me. If anything with the right job(s) it can actually build value to your life. The experience, the people you meet, the skills you learn are all invaluable and also the money you make you earned on your own.
Prioritizing bills is also something I need to work on. I much rather buy a cute dress, get a spray tan, maybe a 12 pack of Summer Shandy's, some new makeup over my car insurance. But really, things like car insurance, rent, other bills do come first, then all the other "extra" fluff stuff, second. It's hard when you want to look good and feel like you just HAVE to get that 15 dollar bronzer instead of spending it on gas, but prioritizing my money the right way has made me happy (even if my roots are pretty bad until I get the money to get them touched up!)
Love & Friendship should not make you suffer, it should uplift you
I've seen the love is suffering adage way too many times, and I find it incredibly jarring. Being in relationships where when it's good it can be great but when it's bad you're both hurting, damaging, abusing each other with words or your hands - then it is not love, it is chaos. It is chaos that is not enhancing your life, it's throwing your life off kilter. When you're inside the tornado it's hard to see - but look at a relationship that's parallel to yours and you will honestly think both people are insane and holding themselves back from a healthy, happy relationship with themselves and other people.
Also, I've seen and been in situations where you hold on to friendships where you don't entirely trust the person. I've walked away and felt like I was being talked away or at least could be, but brushed it aside for whatever stupid reason - they are fun, cool, etc. That's not real friendship. Friendship and love is loyalty and honesty too. If you can't trust your friends, then they aren't your friends.
These are just some things I need to work on to maintaining a happy life, and I know I'm forgetting some others, but these are the main ones I'm focusing on. What is your advise to living a positive life?